


leap of faith

by championstunic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Drama, Getting Together, Hoshiumi gives good advice, M/M, Rated T for Mild Language, Third Year Hirugami and Hoshiumi, hirugami brothers have a heartfelt talk, slight manga spoilers up to chapter 379
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23078089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/championstunic/pseuds/championstunic
Summary: “So what’s wrong for real?” Kourai asked immediately after he shut the door. His eyebrow was raised and he wore a frown usually reserved for a botched play or a fumbled serve. “I know you weren’t just out taking a walk.”Sachirou looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “It’s my brother. I finally told him what I decided to do after graduation and we got into an argument about it.”Or: After Hirugami butts heads with his brother, multiple heart-to-hearts ensue.
Relationships: Hirugami Sachirou/Hoshiumi Kourai
Comments: 20
Kudos: 159





	leap of faith

**Author's Note:**

> i had a lot of fun writing this oneshot!! i really love hirugami and hoshiumi individually and as a pair, and i enjoyed exploring their relationship, as well as sachirou's relationship with his brother (although, as of chapter 385 their canonical relationship is still mostly a mystery). special shoutout to kdad for always indulging me in my hiruhoshi bs :-)
> 
> anyway, i really hope you all like reading it as much as i liked writing it!! thanks!

“Where do you think you’re going?” Fukuro’s booming voice called from the kitchen.

“Anywhere but here,” Sachirou yelled back, furiously stuffing clothes into his backpack and throwing it over his shoulder. He walked out the front door and slammed it without another word.

It wasn’t until Sachirou was a block away from his house that he realized he actually had no idea where he was going. Looking at the keys to the clubroom in his backpack, he considered going to the school, but he knew he would get in trouble for being there after-hours. After a moment of contemplation, he pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts before typing a message.

**To: Kourai**  
_hey, I know it’s late but is it okay if I come over?_  


While waiting for a response, he walked to the convenience store on the corner of the street, seeking warmth and cheap snacks. As he perused the candy aisle, his phone buzzed.

**From: Kourai**  
_Of course! Is everything okay??????_  


**To: Kourai**  
_I’ll explain when I get there. see u soon_  


Sachirou hurried to check out, making sure to grab a few bags of plum flavored Kappa Ebisen to gift to Kourai, and began walking to his house. Not long after, his phone buzzed again. He quickly pulled his phone out, expecting a message from Kourai. He was just as quickly disappointed. 

**From: Fukuro**  
_Come home now! We need to finish this talk.._  


Sachirou rolled his eyes and shoved his phone back in his pocket without replying. 

Soon enough, he arrived at Kourai’s house, breathing heavily from annoyance and shivering from the cold. He had been in such a rush to leave that he had forgotten a coat and the night air was just as unpleasant as the atmosphere at home. Before he could even bring his fist up to knock, the door swung open.

“Why aren’t you wearing a coat? Do you know how cold it is?” Kourai yelled into the street, which was empty other than Sachirou.

Sachirou couldn’t help but smile at his friend’s overreaction. “Oh, of course I do. See, I was bored just sitting at home, so I thought, ‘You know what sounds good? Taking a nice long walk in the freezing cold,’ and now here I am. Anyway, how are you doing tonight, Kourai-kun? May I please come in?”

“If you keep on like that, then I won’t let you in and I’ll leave you here to freeze to death,” Kourai replied, pouting. Still, he stepped aside to give Sachirou space to walk in.

Sachirou greeted Kourai’s parents as he entered and Kourai led him towards the back of the house, although Sachirou didn’t need to be shown the way. Kourai’s house was almost like Sachirou’s second home. When he wasn’t sleeping or at school, the odds were that he was at Kourai’s, where they studied together, ate, practiced volleyball, or just talked. Kourai’s family treated him like he was another one of their children, and they even had a special futon reserved just for when he would sleepover. After all those years of coming over after practice, Sachirou found comfort in Kourai’s room; in its familiar blue walls, volleyball posters, and air freshener scent. As soon as he settled into a seat on Kourai’s bed, Sachirou let out a long sigh.

“So what’s wrong for real?” Kourai asked immediately after he shut the door. His eyebrow was raised and he wore a frown usually reserved for a botched play or a fumbled serve. “I know you weren’t just out taking a walk.”

Sachirou looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “It’s my brother. I finally told him what I decided to do after graduation and we got into an argument about it.”

“And he got mad because you’re quitting volleyball?”

“Exactly…” Sachirou trailed off and they sat in silence for a few seconds before he suddenly sat forward and looked Kourai in the eyes. “I just don’t get it, Kourai, I really don’t. It’s like he can’t wrap his head around why I would even want to do anything other than volleyball. He thinks I should be happy to blindly follow in his footsteps. But my whole life, I’ve done everything they expect me to do and I’ve always been stuck in his shadow, _the_ Hirugami Fukuro. I want to finally be able to make my own name for myself. I want to take a break from volleyball so that I can be my own person for once.”

“Did you tell him all that?” Kourai asked quietly.

“I tried to,” Sachirou replied, sitting back and hugging one of Kourai’s pillows. “But he kept going on about how ‘this is just a phase’ and I’ll ‘regret it as soon as I quit.’ It makes me wonder where he’s been for the past three years. I guess he was too busy with — shocker — volleyball to notice that it's been ages since I honestly loved playing like he does.”

“So he’s not listening to you. Do you think maybe if he took a minute to hear you out, then he would understand?”

Sachirou shrugged. “He’s definitely not listening to me. He barely let me explain myself before he started lecturing me about my future. Even if he took the time to hear what I have to say, I don’t know if he’ll actually make an effort to understand where I’m coming from.”

“I think he will. He’s your brother. I think, maybe, he was just surprised and he didn’t know how to react. You can stay here tonight, though. Hopefully by tomorrow he’ll have cooled down enough so you can actually talk to him and explain,” Kourai told him, his voice full of certainty.

“Maybe,” Sachirou replied, leaning his head against the wall and looking at Kourai through his bangs. “Are you sure it’s fine that I stay here?”

Kourai rolled his eyes. “Duh! You’re already here, like, all the time. What kind of question is that?”

Sachirou smiled slightly, his eyes still on Kourai. They sat in silence for a moment until Kourai spoke again.

“I’m sorry I can’t help very much,” he said, looking down at his hands. “That’s a really shitty situation to be in.”

“It helps just to talk about it,” Sachirou admitted. “Thanks for letting me rant, Kourai-kun.”

“Of course,” Kourai beamed. “I’m your best friend. What else are best friends for?”

Sachirou sat up, frowning. “Oh, Kourai… I’m sorry you got the wrong idea. Gao is my best friend.” He swiftly dodged a pillow thrown by Kourai.

“Oh, so you can move? Maybe we should get rid of that ‘Immovable Hirugami’ nickname once and for all,” Kourai said, mockingly.

“Only when I feel like it,” Sachirou replied, laughing. “Come on, Kourai-kun, try to only pick fights with people your own size.”

For the first time that evening, he felt relieved. The stress of the argument with his brother was still there, but Sachirou was able to move it to the back of his mind. Instead, he focused on his conversation with Kourai and his friend’s advice. Over the years, he had found that Kourai was able to do that to him; to help him forget about his worries, if only for a little while. 

Kourai stuck out his tongue. “I, for one, honestly could never understand why anyone would want to quit volleyball,” he declared. He was promptly met with a pillow to the face. “Hey! What happened to picking fights with people your own size?”

“Well, I said that to you because I know you could never win a fight against me. On the other hand, me against you…”

“You wanna find out if that’s true, Sachirou-kun? Let’s go to the backyard, then,” Kourai challenged, rolling up his sleeves.

Sachirou laid back on Kourai’s bed. “No thanks, I’m tired now. Maybe in the morning.” Kourai gave him a playful kick in response. This time Sachirou didn’t try to dodge, instead looking over at him and exaggerating his injury. “Oh, ow, Kourai-kun! So much strength in that shot!”

“Hm,” Kourai simply hummed. He laid back in the opposite direction, upside down, with his head hanging off the side of the bed.

They each laid down, sprawled across the bed like that, in comfortable silence. Thoughts of what he might say to his brother the next morning swam through Sachirou’s head as he began to nod off to sleep.

“Since you’re quitting volleyball,” Kourai began suddenly, breaking the silence. “Does that mean we won’t be friends anymore?”

Sachirou shot up, leaning back on his elbows. He suddenly felt more awake. “What the hell? Why would you think that?”

Kourai shrugged, staring off into the distance. “Well, we won’t have a reason to see each other anymore. You’ll be busy at school and I’ll be busy with practice and traveling. Would we still have time to talk?”

“Jeez, Kourai-kun, you’re not usually one to be so cynical.” Sachirou paused, thinking. “How about this: we designate one day of every month where we call each other, no matter what. If one of us can’t make it, we have to let the other know ahead of time so that we can reschedule. We never skip a month and we use that time to update each other on our lives. I’m sure you’ll have lots of great stories to tell me. Also, whenever we’re in Nagano, we have to let the other know. If we’re both home at the same time, then we meet up. How does that sound?”

“Can I still send you funny memes that I find and stuff?” Kourai asked, sitting up and looking at Sachioru.

Sachirou paused.

“Sachirou!”

“Of course you can, Kourai-kun,” he replied, smirking slightly.

“Okay,” Kourai said, laying back down. “Then I like that plan.”

Sachirou laid down again, too, and closed his eyes.

“Sachirou?”

“What’s up?” he mumbled without opening his eyes.

“Are you sure that you want to quit volleyball?”

“I think I’ve given enough of my life to volleyball, Kourai-kun. I want to find out who I can be without it.”

“Well, I want you to know that I’ve really enjoyed playing with you, Sachirou.”

“I’ve enjoyed playing with you, too, Kourai. I’ll watch all your games when I can.”

“That means a lot to me,” Kourai replied, his voice almost a whisper.

With that, the two boys dozed off simultaneously, both draped across Kourai’s bed, without even bothering to set up Sachirou’s futon or to change their clothes. They slept, dreaming about the future.

**\---**

When Sachirou woke up the next morning, Kourai wasn’t in the room. He sat up and checked his phone, which told him that it was only 8:00. He collapsed back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Although he couldn’t fall asleep, he didn’t want to get out of bed because it would make him one step closer to facing his brother again, and he dreaded that. 

Sachirou didn’t know how long he sat like that on Kourai’s bed, stuck in his own thoughts as he stared at the ceiling. Eventually, though, the door swung open and Kourai entered with his usual tsunami-level force. 

“What are you still doing in bed, lazy ass? Don’t you have things you need to do today? Do you plan on finally earning your ‘Immovable’ nickname?” he yelled, rattling the room.

Sachirou rolled his eyes and draped his arm over his forehead. “Just five more minutes, Kourai-kun,” he sighed, feigning fatigue. “You’re very loud and I’m so dreadfully tired.”

Ignoring him, Kourai began tugging at the sheets under Sachirou, slowly pulling him closer to the edge of the bed.

“What are you doing?” Sachirou asked, sitting up. 

“You have to get up,” Kourai grunted, continuing to pull. “So that you can go face your idiot brother.”

Sachirou sat still and watched Kourai, waiting for him to give up. When he didn’t, Sachirou exhaled and rolled out of the bed. “Okay, fine, don’t hurt yourself. I’m up, are you happy?”

Kourai let go of the sheets and stood up straight. “For your information, I am always very pleased with myself. Now hurry up and eat breakfast so you can leave.”

Sachirou began gathering his things and walked out of the room with Kourai trailing him. “ You know, Kourai-kun, if you really wanted me to leave this badly you could’ve just told me.”

“Shut up and eat your rice,” Kourai replied when they reached the kitchen.

Sachirou decided he was too hungry to continue teasing Kourai, and he silently ate while his friend went back to his room. Sachirou didn’t mind being alone in Kourai’s house; he knew where everything was and Kourai’s mom was always willing to help him. Sachirou’s parents had been busy with their volleyball careers for much of his childhood, so he envied the close relationship Kourai had with his mother. He would never admit that, though.

Finally, Sachirou finished eating and washed his dishes before returning to Kourai’s room to gather his things. As he shouldered his backpack, Kourai, who was sitting at his desk, spoke up.

“So do you know what you’re gonna say?” he asked.

Sachirou paused, recalling what he had been planning in his head earlier that morning. “I’m going to make him listen to me instead of lecturing me. I’m going to tell him that I’m done with volleyball. I don’t want to lead the same life as him and even if the path I do choose doesn’t work out, I don’t want to go my whole life wondering what could’ve been. And I’m gonna take this jump whether he likes it or not.”

Once he was finished, Kourai grinned and gave him a thumbs up. “Good luck.”

“Thanks for your help, Kourai,” Sachirou told him as he turned to leave.

“I’ll be here whenever you need me, Sachirou,” Kourai called after him.

Sachirou let himself out of Kourai’s house and entered the crisp morning air outside. He began the familiar walk back home with conviction in his step and anticipation growing in his full stomach. He knew exactly what he was going to say, but that didn’t make him feel any more prepared for what was coming. He had already tried to talk to his brother and it had blown up in his face, so what made Kourai so certain that that wouldn’t happen again?

Middle-school-Sachirou would’ve been terrified of the wrong outcome. However, university-bound-Sachirou knew that he had to keep going and that he had to go through with this confrontation. Even if it did end badly, life would go on. He would go down his own path, no matter what his brother said to him. He knew that much.

Finally, Sachirou reached his house. It looked different to him now, in the daylight. It was a manifestation of the future he was rejecting. He took a deep breath as he unlocked the front door and walked in, quietly padding through the hallway on his socked feet. Suddenly, a large shadow appeared at the end of the hall.

“So now you decide to come home?” Fukuro asked. “You know, we never finished our conversation last night.” His voice was assertive, but not loud.

The words came out before Sachirou could even think about them.

“Conversation?” he scoffed. “It wasn’t as much a conversation as it was you talking down to me and refusing to listen to what I was trying to say. Will you actually hear me out today or not? Because I can walk out that door again, just as easily as I did last night.”

Fukuro was taken aback. “I won’t listen to you until you talk to me with some respect.”

“What do you want me to say?” Sachirou adopted a falsetto and continued, “‘Oh, Fukuro-nii, you shouldn’t be able to lecture me about my future when you haven’t really been around in years. Fukuro-nii, maybe if you’d been here more often you would’ve seen how unhappy volleyball really made me.’”

Fukuro paused. “Did it really?” he finally asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Sachirou replied in his normal voice, shrugging. “It’s hard having to live up to your legacy, you know? I was stressing myself out so much over a stupid sport that I started to hate it. That’s why I want to quit. I don’t want to spend my whole life in your shadow. I love animals and helping people and I want to do something that reflects who _I_ am. I don’t care if you think I won’t like it. I’m willing to take that risk, whether you support it or not.”

Fukuro looked down at the floor and let out a breath. Sachirou’s heartbeat quickened in anticipation and he felt lightheaded. He couldn’t remember the last time he got this fired up over something.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Fukuro spoke. “Sachirou, I had no idea this really meant so much to you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you last night. I hope you can forgive me.”

“Does that mean you won’t keep pressuring me to continue volleyball?”

Fukuro shook his head.

“And you support my career choice?”

Fukuro nodded. “Of course I do. You’re my little brother and I want you to do what makes you happy. My judgement was clouded by what I thought was right, and I won’t let it happen again.”

Sachirou felt a grin spread across his face. It wasn’t like the smirk he wore when he hit a killer serve during a match, or the mischievous smile he showed Kourai after telling a joke at his expense. In that moment, Sachirou’s grin was huge and genuine and filled with his excitement for what his future held. Before he could stop himself, he shot across the hallway and wrapped his arms tightly around his brother. Fukuro hesitated for only a moment before returning the embrace.

“Thank you,” Sachirou said into his brother’s shoulder. “I really am passionate about this and I know I’ll make you and the whole family proud.”

“Oh, Sachirou, you already do.”

Sachirou hugged his brother in silence for a few moments. The hug solidified the end of his volleyball career, but he wasn’t sad. He looked forward to what was to come after high school, and he couldn’t wait to jump right in.

As the two of them stood there, Sachriou found himself thinking about another leap he had begun to consider taking the night before. Ever since the end of their second year of high school, he had been trying to figure out why he felt different around Kourai. Why Kourai’s overdramatic declarations suddenly made his stomach twist into knots and why he had to resist the urge to run his fingers through Kourai’s stupid haircut. He couldn’t even ask Kourai to tape his fingers anymore because he didn’t know what he would’ve done with Kourai in such close proximity to him.

He couldn’t make sense of what any of this meant until the previous night, when Kourai had asked if they would still be friends after they graduated. Finally, it had truly hit Sachirou that they were leaving; they would no longer be teammates, and Kourai would no longer be by his side. But Sachirou realized he wanted him to be something else. Something more. That was the moment when Sachirou knew what he had to do next.

Immediately after he let go of Fukuro, Sachirou decided to capitalize on the adrenaline he had after successfully confronting his brother. He turned and ran back to the door.

“Wait, where are you going now?” his brother called after him.

“I have to go see an idiot!” he replied as he closed the door.

On his run to Kourai’s house, Sachirou tried to plan what he would say, but he found his mind blank. Instead, he resolved to improvise once he finally got there. _How hard can it really be to confess my romantic feelings to my best friend of four years?_ He thought. _If I can stand up to my brother, then I can do anything._

Once he reached Kourai’s house, he knocked on the door until Kourai finally answered.

“That was fast. You know, you could’ve just texted me about what happened. Is everything okay? You’re really out of breath.”

Sachirou took a moment to regain his composure before speaking. “Everything went great, Kourai-kun. Just like you said.”

“I’m glad,” Kourai told him, grinning. “But then why are you here again? Do you wanna practice with me?”

Sachirou thought for a moment about what to say next and took a deep breath before speaking. “No, not that. Listen, Kourai-kun, do you remember that question that you asked me last night? About still being friends after we graduate? I went home and I thought about it and maybe I don’t want to be friends with you anymore.”

Kourai rolled his eyes. “What the hell? Did you really run all this way just to set up some joke about Gao or how you’re gonna be free from me? I swear—”

“I mean I don’t want to be _just_ friends,” Sachirou finished, interrupting him.

Kourai froze. “ _Huh?_ ”

“Kourai, look, I don’t understand why, but I like you. A lot. And I think I’ve liked you for a while now. I like talking to you and I like playing beside you and I like doing homework with you and I like watching you play with my dog and I like spending time with you. I like your unfounded self-confidence and how excitable you can be.”

“Hey, why do I feel like I’m being complimented and insulted at the same time?”

“Just let me finish, please,” Sachirou said, smiling. “I admire how hard you work and how deceptively smart you are. I like the way I feel when I’m around you and how your enthusiasm is almost contagious. And I know our time in high school is almost over but I don’t want our time _together_ to end, especially because I’ve just figured out these feelings. And I think that maybe you feel the same way. Please go out with me, Kourai-kun.”

“Wow, Sachirou I didn’t know you could talk like this,” Kourai replied, a grin slowly spreading across his face. “It’s nice to know that _I’m_ one of the few things that you’re passionate about.”

“Now is not the time for snark, Kourai-kun.”

“Of course I like you, too, dummy!” Kourai exclaimed. “I like you so much, I always say the stupidest things and trip over my own feet when I’m around you. You can be so dense sometimes, you know? You probably can’t even see that I’m about to kiss you right now!”

Sachirou gulped. “Wha—” he began, but before he could even finish the word, Kourai lunged forward, wrapped his arms around Sachirou’s neck, jerked his head down, and kissed him. It was forceful and almost desperate, but Sachirou didn’t mind at all.

Eventually, he recovered from his initial shock enough to return the kiss. Kourai leaned further into it and Sachirou felt annoyed that, all this time, he had been missing out on Kourai’s kisses.

He didn’t want to pull away, but he suddenly became hyper-aware of the fact that they were still standing out in the open on Kourai’s doorstep.

“Should we go inside?” he said, almost whispering.

“Oh.” Kourai cleared his throat. “Yeah, maybe.” He turned to walk inside before Sachirou tapped him on the shoulder and he spun back around.

“You never did answer my question, though,” he told Kourai, smirking.

Kourai looked confused for a moment before a look of realization crossed his face. “Was that kiss really not enough of an answer? Of course I’ll go out with you. Oh my God.”

“Just checking,” Sachirou said, smiling softly. “Also, about earlier, when you confessed: did you really just admit that you do sometimes say stupid things?”

Kourai rolled his eyes for what felt like the hundredth time since Sachirou had showed up at his door that morning. He grabbed Sachirou’s hand and began leading him inside. “Sachirou, please shut up before I change my mind.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t dare! I’m Hirugami Sachirou. I’m a catch and you know it.”

Kourai smiled so wide that it made Sachirou blush. “Yeah, I guess you’re right for once,” he admitted, closing the front door behind them.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed!! please let me know your thoughts in the comments, or on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vethirugami) or [tumblr](https://tvxit.tumblr.com/)!!
> 
> also thank you to [cam](https://twitter.com/manyangrygeese) for beta-reading this for me, and thank you shan and evi for listening to me talk about it!! ily all!!!!


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